~ About Us ~

"Hello" - Los Conios, not just another band, more an experience. A challenging mixture of musical flavours together with an equally challenging performance embracing the bizarre.You will love it or hate it.....but you will remember it....cos its different. So, peeeeassssssssssse take a peep, have a listen, check out the videos, look at the gig shots and, last of all, plunge into the insanity of life as reported in 'THE SEXY TIMES'... sue us, tell us what you think. Join us, Weary Traveller, The infamous Mr Mash, Roger - our resident nonce demon, and the newly recruited Human Lampshade all on a quest to cleanse the world of dishwater minds. Your mind is already broken, allow us to peel it away and dip our todgers inside.

Bands that people have compared our sound to include Talking Heads, The Banshees, Zappa, Bahaus, The Cramps and The Dead Kennedies.

~ Current Line Up ~

Adam

"Voice of a Raped Angel, Surgeon of Rock"

Rich

Mad as "A bag of flies", likes explorations and expeditions, the son of an incestruous union, legendary in Job Center circles. Expert at espionage and special tactics, fucking sexy! The air is thick with poppers when he is around.
Likes: Guns, Swords, Chav in his coffee.
Dislikes: Prudes, Mediocrasy.

Gary

"Paediatrician of Rock Guitar"

Risdale

Wants to teach your children in the future. He looks like Jesus crossed with a posh hobo. A very humble guy, with healthy desires. Big on the swinger scene, gets off with old goths in the Hatchet.
Likes: Hair Straighteners, Eyeliner, Clown shoes.
Dislikes: Cost of tobacco, AVON Hair Straighteners (they don't work properly).

Tom

"Cardiographer of Rock Bass"

Blockley

Also a professional. On stage he is a whirling dervish of bad jokes and worse riffs. Off stage he is a dedicated follower of passion. Swims like a fish, walks like a duck. Rather tall, rather sexy.
Likes: Old clothes, Sunsets, Books.
Dislikes: Buying new clothes, Boredom, Oligarchy.

Jake

"Podiatrist of Rock Drums"

Luxton

More drums than a washing machine factory. Loves his music like he loves the smell of roast duck on a Friday. You can't stop what hasn't started.
Likes: Everything.
Dislikes: Nothing.

~ Past Members ~

Over the years, the line-up of the Cunts has changed a bit, shouts and screams of joy to:

• Nick Branney (drums, martini)
• Big Jim Reuter (manager and general practitioner of fuck)
• Joachim Walker (drums, recording)
• James Thomas (drums, bass)
• Tom Jelts (drums)
• Annie (drums)
• Tom Blockley, Esq (bass)

We love you guys (and girls).